Welcome to Governess Season!

Starting June 1, I’ve created a scavenger hunt of sorts for us all to participate in through the end of August.

For those of us entering summer, I often find it a struggle to enjoy the season when I’m slowed down by the heat. Likewise, for those beginning the winter season, it’s often easier to stay snuggled at home than to get out for a new adventure.

This challenge aims to serve all of us with a series of activities that stretch us to try new things, especially ones away from screens. I’ve set sterner limits with myself in recent months (I’m the governess, after all) and have noticed a brighter, more focused mind has been my reward.

Here’s how the challenge works:

I’ve created a bingo board of activities (to be revealed Friday the 29th after our community live). To participate, complete activities that give you a full line across the board to get BINGO. You get a square by posting an article or note that describes your experience and links back to the main post (coming this Friday).

FREE SUBSCRIBERS who get bingo before August 31 win 2 months’ access to the Tattooed Governess’ paid community. (Everyone will be granted their free access together in early September so the admin doesn’t kill us)

PAID SUBSCRIBERS who get bingo before August 31 get a 2-month extension to their paid subscription AND an entry into the prize draw: Prizes to be announced on 1 June. I cannot wait to share them!

Subscribe now

Join us Friday, 29 May:

I’ll be hosting a Live this Friday to discuss the challenge and the Bingo Square adventures in depth. The replay will be up as part of the main Governess Season post also going live the 29th.

Details to join us here:

GET REMINDED FOR THE LIVE

I’m so excited to begin what hopefully becomes a new annual tradition.

Governess Season is on!

How do you read so much?

I get this question more often than any other. Usually, the person asking does so hoping for either a secret to access more time or more focused attention. The truth is, I don’t struggle to focus and read because I love curling up with a book more than doing almost anything else.

That said, there is plenty that conspires to keep my mind and my eyeballs away from the pages. Some of this is unavoidable — even I don’t get paid just to read, and there have been periods of my life when protecting time for books was for more difficult.

What follows are my best tips to grow, and protect, a reading habit.

1. What book did you last love?

You may have to scan well into the past to find it. Don’t be daunted. Even if the last story you can remember gripping you is The Runaway Bunny this is still useful information.

Most of us choose books we think we should be reading and pass by the ones that look too fun as a waste of time. Let me say it once and for all:

If you love it, a book is not a waste of time. Ever.

I cannot tell you how many people who expressed shock that I read romance, fantasy, and science fiction as well as literature and informative nonfiction.

“I only read nonfiction,” many people say. “ I don’t feel like novels are a good use of my time.” This is when I step into the other room to scream into a pillow and pull myself together.

When did reading become something that had to be a “good use of our time?” Don’t pick books like you’ll have to justify your choice of reading later. Pick them like you choose truffles in a chocolatier’s shop. Which ones look most delicious to you? Those are your next reads. Need a guide? has a truly joyous substack nerding out about delicious romance novels. You could do way worse than to start there. Her book, In Love with Love is a JOY. My friend ’s book, Read Yourself Happy, provides book recs based on desired mood and is itself quite the delicious read.

A friend who often bemoaned his slow and inconsistent habit finally accepted a book I lent him. Pagans by James Alistair Henry is set in an alternative UK where the Norman Invasion never happened, the UK isn’t a unified country, and solving a murder means a diplomatic effort between different lands with entirely different religions.

My friend is a language nerd who enjoys some suspense. Seven days later, he was sniffing around for more books. I got him on the Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch and he’s read six books in a month and a half. I hooked another friend who bemoaned not having read consistently in years on a romantasy series she devoured before moving on to a wide range of fiction.

Once you break the force field with a book you love, you’ll want read more.

2. What shows and films suck you in most?

Those who claim novels are a waste of time rarely feel the same about fiction in films. People are willing to watch a show or movie set in a fantasy world, usually because they are calculating the amount of time spent watching. If you can’t remember the last book you loved, get your story inspiration from what you love on screen.

Plus, if you add up how much time you spend on streaming platforms, you could get quite a lot of solid reading in with a simple switch. This is one big secret about how I read so much: I barely watch television at all. My husband and I get through a few series a year and enjoy going to the cinema, but most of the time when at home, we’d rather grab a book.

I’m not suggesting you deprive yourself of the stories that exist on screen: use them as a map to find books you’ll love just as much. For example, if you loved the film Arrival, you’ll probably love author Ted Chaing’s fiction. Arrival was based on “Stories of Your Life,” the titular piece from one of his excellent short story collections. Try searching for book recommendation by describing the plots of favorite shows or films on a site like StoryGraph, a woman-owned and run alternative to Goodreads that provides personalized book recommendations.

In fact, if fiction is a struggle to focus on, starting with short stories is a great way to build a reading habit. When I’m under a lot of stress or have big projects I’m working on, I often turn to short story and essay collections for reading so I don’t have to remember complex plots from day to day. I also enjoy these books while traveling, as a busy outside life makes it harder to digest a chunky book sometimes.

If you avoid fiction, which would surprise me if you’ve found this substack, visiting the section in the bookstore or library that most resembles your favorite films and shows is a great way to shift over. Try reading instead of watching one day a week and see if you miss that much screen time.

3. What are you a total nerd about?

I could, on any day at any time, talk your ear off about textile production, the clothing industry, sewing, fashion, and apparel in general. One friend ran to the bathroom and hid, ten minutes after asking an ill-advised question about what makes Japanese denim so desirable.

If a book touches any of the above areas, I will enjoy it. My collection of books on this topic will soon be large enough to fill its own shelf, should I wish to group them together. No one on earth wants to talk about clothing production as much as I do, at least no one I’ve met yet, so I slake my fascination with reading.

What are you a nerd about? Is there something you wish friends and family wanted to discuss more? Get thee to the library. If you’re obsessed with something, you’ll enjoy reading about it. Bookish types often bemoan the decline in reading among younger generations, but in many cases reading has just changed forms. In my favorite bookshop in Berlin, a new massive section of manga has sprung up, and I grabbed a Mr. B’s Book Emporium recommended title translated from Japanese to German instead of English. I want to read in German, but I don’t automatically reach for it. I’m excited to enjoy a new form of writing in my second language, and perhaps this will inspire me to nerd out more by reading in German.

4. No one is going to test you on this.

I hope I’ve convinced to you to pick books that excite you, rather than books you see on a famous person’s ‘must-read’ list. Since most adults last read seriously when in school, it became a chore associated with having to prove they read the book properly and understood it the way the teacher wanted.

While this is useful for assessing reading comprehension for younger readers, it serves absolutely no purpose for adults who want to read more. Please don’t pick the book that “everyone is talking about” or that someone is waving up and down on every social media feed if it sounds boring to you. Stop browsing lists of “100 classics that every person should read before they die” and worrying about getting through all of them before you pop your clogs. There is nothing less fun than doing something because “they” think you should.

Please don’t make reading a joyless must like doing your taxes.

If you do nothing else after reading this, please go to the library or bookshop and grab something that feels SCANDALOUS to read. Something your high school English teacher would be shocked by. Whether this is a smutty fantasy or a how-to on a bizarre hobby or a nostalgic favorite you have been dying to re-read, pick the most enticing book you can.

This will go a long way toward re-acclimating you to reading for fun. You have to read something pleasurable for the activity to be a joy. And you don’t have to justify your choice to me or anyone. Gorge on reading you love and keep picking what looks good next and you’ll soon find yourself with a reading habit.

5. Make it easier to read than not to.

This may be the most essential point of all. If you’ve been wanting to yell at me up to now, “Caroline I know which books I love, I just don’t have any time to actually pick them up and read them!” this one’s for you.

Our lives are not designed to support a rich reading habit. Reading requires time and focus, and as the years pass, we have less of both. However, all is not lost. We can put barriers in place to reclaim our ability to read for chunks of time.

The two things that most often steal from reading time are social media/the internet and other life responsibilities. I can’t do much about your life responsibilities as parents with young kids at home, workers on a tough deadline or people with relatives needing care in the hospital are going to have less time and ability to focus on books. That’s how some phases of life go, and I definitely read way less when I lived in LA and worked long hours with a monstrous commute.

However, we can do something about keeping optional distraction at bay. If you haven’t been a reader for a long time and are just getting back to it, I recommend choosing hard copies of books. As in paper. This doesn’t have to cost you anything extra — just visit your local library and check out physical books. We don’t want you to risk your attention getting snatched by reading on a device. I’d argue that even an eReader is risky, as many of them are internet enabled, if only to allow you to purchase and upload more books.

When you are reading, put your devices FAR AWAY. At least in a different room. Having a mobile right next to you on the bed means any impulse you have to pop out of the book will be too hard to resist. Don’t tempt yourself.

If you find yourself rushing to find your devices and can’t settle, there is a new level available. I got myself a Brick1 when recently in the UK and working on writing projects. It lets me block specific apps and sites or even everything but the phone function either on a schedule or I can tap the mode on and tap off.

Other services, like Opal, offer this service, but usually with a subscription fee attached. Brick is the only one I’ve seen that’s a one-time charge and you’re done. On my computer, I have Freedom, an internet blocker that helps me when I’m writing.2 If you are the sort who would walk past a blocked phone to get online with your computer, that may be needed as well. Getting on their list means you’ll receive discounts and they often do sales for a lifetime license, which avoids the ongoing fee.

I used to struggle to read on public transit, opting instead to play games on my phone, which left me stressed and jittery after being on the train. I deleted the worst games (I’m looking at you, ten-year Jelly Splash addiction) and I’ve set up a profile within Brick called “reading.” It only allows me to access reading apps or audiobooks on my phone and maps — if I need to navigate — that I can click on for 30 minutes or however long my ride is. This allows me to read a book I’ve carried with me or dip in on my phone’s eReader app. I arrive feeling way better than I have in the past.

Your brain may panic at first, as it’s used to having something to distract it every time it’s bored. But like someone used to eating lots of sugar, if you give your brain a book instead of an app to scroll on, it’s a bit like giving it a piece of fruit. Over time, it will adjust, and eventually it will prefer the taste of something fresh.

6. Read in bed.

I go to bed early. As in, old-lady early. I have been known to get in pajamas before 9pm and cozy up with a book before it’s even dark in the summer in Berlin. I admit, I am an extreme case. But I don’t go to sleep early, necessarily. I pretty much always call it a night at about 11:30, no matter when I get in bed.

If you get in bed earlier with a book — if your life allows for this — one of two things will happen. You’ll either fall asleep quickly, as many people have told me they do when reading at night, or you’ll get a bunch of reading done.

Both are solid outcomes. The first means you’re likely incredibly sleep deprived, as much of the world is, and having time to catch up will help you focus on reading later. If you get in early and read a ton, you’ll build up much more time immersed in books.

The other option is to wake up a little early and read before getting up, which I also enjoy regularly. Reading a chapter before getting out of bed feels truly luxurious to me, even if it means setting an earlier alarm, because I get to enjoy warm cozy bed with a book before I’ve done anything else. I start by winning. Again, this one is only available to those without little kids at home, as no one is getting any reading done with a toddler jumping on the bed. But if you have this possibility available, I highly recommend it.

Finally, keep any non-reading devices out of the bedroom. Charge phones elsewhere and put them away before getting in bed. If you have a TV in your bedroom, try draping a blanket over it and putting the remote in another room on evenings you read before going to sleep.

7. Pick your own experiment.

Starting June 1, I’m running a challenge so we can all focus our attention more on reading and other activities that take us away from our screens. Yes, I recognize the irony of offering this on an online platform, but this is the world we live in now. And if we can use the internet to make our lives more satisfying on our own terms, so much the better.

I’ll be sharing the full details in a live on Friday the 29th, but in the meantime, if you liked summer reading lists at the end of the school year, have been craving play and more fun, but weren’t sure how to break out of your current habits, this will be just the ticket.

More details to come soon…

How do you fit more reading in?

Paid members, let’s chat about our reading habits and practices in the comments section. What helps you get more reading done, and what trips you up when you try to read more? We can help each other!

Leave a comment

Not yet a member? This is a great time to join as paid members get slow reads (another way to strengthen your reading habit) twice a year AND will be up for extra prizes during this summer challenge. Hope to have you with us!

Subscribe now

I’ve always loved erasing the board.

As a language teacher, I’ve learned that the word lists that appear through class are bizarre and idiosyncratic. I often snapped photos before erasing them: “decapitate” hovered next to “weak enamel” while “loose goose” lingered at the bottom, next to “going stag,” with various slang for vomiting covered the middle. Any topic is open season in language lessons.

At the end of the lesson, I always quickly erased, especially when teaching away from the school in an office not used to such word lists. There is something wonderful about throwing yourself into a period of creation and then getting to start again from scratch.

Jane Eyre is wrapped

Our last post for the second Tattooed Governess slow read went live Monday, and I am both proud and relieved in equal measure to be erasing that board. Both times I’ve run slow reads, I’ve vastly underestimated the amount of mental energy it takes to create them, and as a result I haven’t managed to write anything else on here while slow reads are running.

But now I am free again, and I am excited to have a blank board to play with through August. I’ve got an adventure planned we can take together — more on that soon — but in the meantime, I want to share some things I’ve enjoyed recently that aren’t Jane Eyre.

Subscribe now

What I’ve been reading:

So many good books! I also got to have several in-depth conversations at Mr. B’s Book Emporium when I was in Bath, UK, in April, which led to a massive book haul in my suitcase returning home. That place is book nerd heaven — if you haven’t yet been, it’s worth going to Bath just for the bookshops — Persephone is also there, as is the massive treasure trove that is Topping.

My favorite reads from the last few months:

• Deborah Levy’s Real Estate is the third in her Living Autobiography trilogy and it is my favorite. The idea of imaginary real estate as the things we own, both physical and abstract, enchanted me, as did the atmosphere of the book.

• I reread both of Everina Maxwell’s books, having listened to them on audio before and adored them even more the second time. I recommend going in order of publication, even though they are both standalone: Winter’s Orbit then Ocean’s Echo. She has another book coming late in 2026 and I cannot wait for it.

• Hunchback by Saou Ichikawa is fascinating and an absolute grabber. A dry and witty exploration of disability and sexuality, it won Japan’s most prestigious literary award: the Akutagawa Prize for up-and-coming authors. I can absolutely see why — this is a book you won’t forget.

• Patch Work: A Life Amongst Clothes by Claire Wilcox. I picked this up thinking it might be a textile history memoir, but it’s much more ephemeral moments in the author’s life and career (curating at the V&A museum and caring for its collections) and how clothes touch these memories. Each one feels like a soap bubble of life and the writing is just gorgeous.

• Ring Shout, by P. Djèlí Clark. Set in the early 1900s, several Black women fight monsters called Ku Kluxes that spawn from Klan members. Ed, the bookseller at Mr. B’s described this as like “a very tightly plotted and excellent episode of Buffy [the Vampire Slayer].” I definitely agree. The monsters were fascinating and the deft commentary on racism in this part of American history was effortlessly woven through a pulsing narrative. So good.

• At the Pond: Swimming at the Hampsted Ladies’ Pond, Daunt Books. Arranged by season, this essay collection includes a range of pieces of gorgeous writing. Swimming in the this pond functions as a reset and an escape for the women writing for many reasons, and these essays felt as much about home, career, love, and friendship as they were about swimming. I foolishly read this just after returning from London, and wanted to jump on a plane back right away to finally swim in this magical place.

Currently reading:

• Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader, Anne Fadiman. Written in the 90s, I can’t be sure I haven’t read this before, but I’ve just scratched the surface and I’m already in love. Any book written by a serious reader about how much they love it has my heart.

• Storm Over Camelot, Sophie Keetch. The third in Keetch’s Morgan le Fay trilogy, I had been dragging my heels not wanting to finish these, but I finally began last night and read 100 pages before blinking. If you enjoy alternative takes of mythology and beautiful writing about magical women, this trilogy is for you.

• A Suit or a Suitcase, Maggie Smith. I’ve been sipping this one, a poem at a time, in the morning and it is delicious to savor, as all Smith’s writing is. You’ll want a copy to keep.

Recently watched:

• The History of Sound. (film) Josh O’Connor and Paul Mescal meet in 1917 while studying music and form a powerful connection. My favorite section was their trip together collecting folk songs on wax cylinders to preserve the voices of many singers and the song tradition. It’s a heartbreaker, but a bittersweet story that has definitely lingered.

• Shrinking (show) Having trained as a therapist, I enjoy this show while also knowing that almost the entire premise would get any therapist barred from practicing in California, let alone anywhere in the US. Even so, the acting is excellent, Harrison Ford and Jessica Williams are a gift, and Jason Segal brings real heart to often vulnerable topics. We’re on season three and will be sad when we finish.

What’s next?

The new adventure I have planned for us will begin in June, and I’ll share more about how it will work next week. To give you a hint, it’s a bit like a Governess Mode scavenger hunt that we all get to do together.

I’ll be explaining everything in a live on May 29 at 17:00 Central European Summer time — get notifications here to join live. The replay will also be available for everyone.

What are you erasing the board on?

Finished any projects lately? Hit a milestone? Share in the comments below!

Leave a comment

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our second reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end.

**Please note: if you have not yet finished Jane Eyre, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our second reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Thirty-Five.

**Please note: if you have not yet read to the end of Chapter 35, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our second reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Thirty-Three.

**Please note: If you have not yet read to the end of Chapter 33, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our tenth (!!) reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Thirty.

**Please note: if you have not completed Chapter 30, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our ninth reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Twenty-Seven.

**Please note: if you have not yet read to the end of Chapter 27, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our second reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Twenty-five.

**Please note: if you have not yet read up to the end of Chapter 25, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Instead of Footnotes this month, I give you a concept I’ve been exploring recently. It’s still forming, but I’m dying to share.

I have always found productivity-focused approaches to life irritating. In German, we say “es nervt,” or directly translated, “It nerves.” That the only purpose our lives have is to crank out more widgets so we can then buy even more widgets has never sat well with me.

In recent years, I keep seeing posts from men, tech bros one might call them, extolling the virtues of “monk mode” which, as far as I can tell, is foisting all life admin off on other people so the ‘monk’ in question can focus exclusively on work.

For writers and creatives, this is the dream — or so we think.

However, what it leaves out is the need for replenishment, connection, and curiosity. Living in monk mode means an uninterrupted stream of output, be that writing, art, music, or code. But I’ve never been able to create in a vacuum.

Whenever I’ve had time to myself to work with no other distractions, and this has happened for maybe two weeks total in my entire life, a natural rhythm develops: a few hours of writing and then some other creative activity that allows me to space out and daydream about my project, and then a third period where I read, watch a film, see an art show, or have a really juicy conversation with a friend.

The alternative: Governess Mode

Along with all the hype about monk mode, some friends and I have noticed a huge uptick in nun content: books, YouTube videos, and a general fascination with the nun life. While on the surface, nun mode appears to be the companion of “monk mode,” I don’t feel this is actually the case. Yes, nuns withdraw from worldly distractions, such as social activity, fashion, and secular culture, but most nuns don’t get the benefit that those touting monk mode champion: lack of responsibility for others.

Nuns often participate in charity and help the community they are a part of, even if that only extends to their nunnery. Actual religious orders of monks also have these responsibilities, but those on YouTube teaching monk mode seem to forget this. Nor is community and charity a negative part of life, unless you want to hole up in a cave and deal with no one else. (And I have had these moments, so I get the impulse.)

But the issue I don’t see any of these ways of life addressing is the wellspring of creativity: feeding curiosity.

We in the twenty-first century romanticize the governess. I adore the idea of a private tutor who might teach me many subjects in a comfortable setting where my skills and preferences, as well as learning quirks, were respected.

Rather than a monk mode that wants us to spew streams of code like black bile into the world, what if we could live in Governess Mode?

Subscribe now

The Credo of Governess Mode

We need to make a few adjustments to the 19th-century governess in order to make this mode suitable for today’s independent student. I propose the following adjustments:

Governess Mode: 21st Century Principles:

• You, the student, choose the subjects you wish to study

• The goal is to follow curiosity rather than to impress society

• An equal balance between learning and discovery and creating new art (writing, music, visual art, film, etc.) is ideal.

• The Governess exists as a learning fairy godmother construct to help you frame your discoveries and creative life

• No two people will have identical Governess Modes; it is, by necessity, custom-built to the individual

Let’s be clear: your enjoyment of Governess Mode is the point.

If you aren’t having fun, change something or give this up entirely.

This is not about following the steps that I use as my governess mode. It’s about deciding to pick a list of things that fascinate you, taking those interests seriously, and giving them time and space to grow as part of your investment in your creative work.

For me, being a writer is as much about reading book after book of textile history, working on my German and trying to revive my French, sewing clothes, reading a wide range of fiction and nonfiction as it is about typing words into a keyboard.

In fact, barely any words get typed if I don’t do all the things I listed above. We spend so much time as a society measuring the equivalent of words typed on a keyboard that we forget how exhausting that process becomes without sufficient inspiration to fuel it.

Even when we are inspired, writing books is damned hard work, and whenever I or anyone I know finishes writing one, we collapse in a heap for weeks afterward. Yes, it involves a lot of sitting and staring, but writing and all creative arts burn as much fuel as if we were running ultra marathons day after day.

Governess mode provides the fuel that gets art made.

Here’s how I started living like I have the best governess ever directing my education:

1. I pay close attention to what lights me up. If I get a spark and think, “fascinating!” I take that seriously and make a note of it.

2. I experiment with these topics for a bit. Some get boring quickly, but some stick. Not everything has to be a learning project.

3. Which teacher would be my dream instructor in this subject? They don’t have to be alive, and I can have more than one. Books, films, articles, and even live classes are all possible if I’m lucky.

4. A variety of subjects is ideal. I like to mix cerebral topics, like languages, with handicrafts, like sewing and knitting. Mixing these into my day means I get inspired by different experiences, and this is more likely to match my mood.

5. No goal-setting with these subjects. I pursue them because I find them fun. That is enough. This sometimes means reaching a milestone, like sewing a coat, but the point was the fun, not the coat as proof I’m using my time wisely.

It is so easy for us to morph activities we enjoy into work. The lure of the side hustle seemed to be a way to combine work and fun, but what it really did was to take everything we loved and turn it into our jobs. Not exactly the delightful outcome we hoped for.

I prefer to follow a governess of my choosing, one who seeks joy for no other purpose than the improvements it gives us every day. If I could have anyone as my governess, it would surely be Ruth Gordon as Maude in the iconic Harold and Maude,1 perhaps an even more subversive film now than in its release year, 1971.

I have recently finished reading the second book in a series by Robert Jackson Bennett. The first book is The Tainted Cup. The second book is A Drop of Corruption. A significant part of these stories involves the main character who has had his memory altered so that it is legally admissible. He’s called an engraver because memories are literally engraved into his mind, and how he holds onto these memories is to encode them with tiny vials of scent.

This feels delicious to me because I’ve noticed my memory functions similarly. There are scents that call up a particular time and place more vividly than photographs, more vividly than textures, more vividly even than going back to those same places. The scent of them brings them alive. For some reason, this seems to be true particularly with shampoos. I have two shampoos currently that capture times and places better than anything else I could have constructed for such a purpose.

Interestingly, neither of them was deliberately chosen. I simply had my hair washed at my hairdresser’s one day and inhaled a scent that transported me to the beach we went to for two weeks every summer when I was a child. It had the particular smell of the sunscreen that we used, which I think was Coppertone. And I don’t think that the smell of the sunscreen would completely capture the scent that this shampoo does. Now, when I’m in the shower, it’s steamed up and I’m washing my hair with the giant one-liter bottle I ordered, I am suddenly eight again, running across the sand, ready to run into the ocean. And the gift that this has given me is beyond what I could expect from just washing my hair.

The other shampoo is one I bought to replace one that had tragically been discontinued. I selected another scent, and when I smelled that one, I was suddenly 12 years old and back at camp. And I felt the rivets of the trunk I packed my clothes in. I can remember the books I read that summer. I can walk around in my mind inside the bathroom and shower where I was navigating the complexity of an early period. All of this came back to me, and I have learned I am now two-thirds of the way through this bottle of shampoo, which I have just used now to wash my hair in the bath and have realized I’m going to have to get another one so that I have access to these memories into the future.

The funny thing is we can’t control when these scents come, unless we’ve used a particular perfume for a long time. I have one, L’Ombre dans l’Eau by Diptyque, that calls up a particular Christmas when I bought it in San Francisco. I can put it on and I can feel like I’m in my 20s again, wandering in Union Square in San Francisco, just having finished graduate school. And there is a particular spark I can access when wearing that perfume that doesn’t come from other places.

I think part of governess mode is accepting that we aren’t just heads on top of bodies. I particularly love the description of this that Ken Robinson talks about in one of his many gorgeous TED talks in which he says that our education system was designed to crank out university professors. Successful graduates end up living in their heads and, as he puts it, slightly to one side.

And I think for a long time that was very much how I lived or how I wanted to live because it felt so much simpler. The body felt like a complexity or a liability, something I didn’t want to sink into. It’s very easy to see something like monk mode and to think, “Ah yes, finally I will be freed of the body.” But I realize now that I don’t want that because if I was free of a body, I wouldn’t be able to smell these smells and I wouldn’t have access to these versions of myself that come along with them.

What I want is to think of the body as a portal, to think of the body as a friend and to make it a partner and ally in this idea of governess mode. And it’s for this reason that things that people may find frivolous, like nice stationery, like makeup, like the clothing we wear, is part of the mode for me. I dress myself up like a character when I want to feel a certain way. I use a certain shampoo or wear a certain lipstick or choose which glasses I’m going out in for the day based on what version of myself or what portal to myself I want to activate. And this is part of governess mode too. It’s a discovery, it’s a continual discovery. It’s a relationship we build with ourselves and with our imagination because it is so ephemeral, the imagination, but it lives in the senses, too.

So the point is not to live in the least embodied part of ourselves, but to recognize the points where the ephemeral gets caught or where it clings onto reality in a physical sense, and to note those points of contact and to embrace them and to remember where they are so that we can pass through them to get back to that ephemeral way of thinking and being.

It reminds me a lot of Philip Pullman’s book, The Subtle Knife. It’s like senses can be that knife that cuts through into another reality. We think that the only way through is our mind, but I don’t think that’s true. So a lot of this operating in governess mode is an attempt to build a reliable way through, a reliable way—or maybe not reliable because that makes it feel too mundane. It’s more like a practice than it is a metal door we can open to see the same thing every time.

Finding governess mode is seeking portals to experience that light up your curiosity, like fireflies on a summer evening. We see the lights flashing around us and chase them, mostly for the joy of seeing where we go.

Most of us have so many adult responsibilities to attend to that we cross curiosity off the list as a waste of time. But curiosity is where we find answers that haven’t been available before. We need this now.

When you think of “governess mode” what comes to mind? And if you could have anyone as your magical governess, who would it be?

Leave a comment

If you’ve ever worried that writing or painting or making films or sewing or whatever creative pursuits light you up are frivolous or unimportant, please accept this conversation as our argument that creativity is ESSENTIAL.

Arts budgets are the first ones that get cut. Artists are hard to control. We need to continue not only to tell the truth but also to encourage others. When authoritarian regimes try to control and repress, whimsy confounds them.

We hope to continue this conversation:

What does whimsy mean to you?
How are you giving your creativity life now?

Leave a comment

Resources discussed in this live:1

• The inspiring Reel we mentioned at the beginning: Tara deFrancisco on why art matters.

• Oliver Burkeman. His newsletter from yesterday was excellent, as are his books, especially 4000 Weeks and Meditation for Mortals.

• Sir Ken Robinson’s Ted talks are iconic for a reason, especially the one on why creativity is as important as literacy. I love his definition of creativity, “The process of having original ideas that have value,” as well as the entire talk, honestly. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a MUST.

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our second reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter 23.

**Please note: if you have not yet read up to the end of Chapter 23, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our sixth reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Twenty.

**Please note: if you have not yet finished Chapter 20, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our second reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter 17.

**Please note: if you have not yet read through Chapter 17, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

If you’ve toyed with keeping a reading journal but find it more of a hassle than a fun project, hopefully this live will change your mind. Thank you so much to those who joined us live yesterday. Nerding out about stationery is ALWAYS such a joy.

I am certain I will forget some bits I mentioned, so ask if I’ve left…

Read more

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our fourth reading debrief, which covers up to the end of Chapter Fourteen.

**Please note: if you have not yet read up to Chapter 14, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

Light returns

Blue sky greeted me this morning as I drank coffee with Hugo in my lap. Sadly, he only got a short snooze today, as I’m off to Paris in the morning for a weekend of stationery and pastry hunting, plus some research for a project I’ll share soon.

The sun now assembles the cats in bright squares on the bed into the afternoon, and I don’t need lights on until after five. The season is shifting, and I’m ready for the brighter afternoons, the breeze coming in the windows, and lighter jackets outside.

Reading shifts as seasons do, and different choices pile up on my nightstand these days — I want my characters out on adventures rather than cozied up indoors. As I write this, The Proof of My Innocence by Jonathan Coe is up next. A cover featuring a suit-wearing man with his head replaced by a massive red flame feels incredibly timely.

I’ve started keeping a super-simple reading journal this year, and it’s already changing the way I read and remember stories and details. Given our mutual love of school supplies, I suspect you’ll enjoy discussing this process in our March Member’s live.

Changing the name of this space has shifted more than the surface. Becoming the governess of my mind has opened up a new way of learning. Collecting a stack of books for the month has surfaced themes and threads to follow. Keeping a record of what I notice cements those connections for further snuffling. I’m a truffle pig now, which is no surprise given how much that bookshop smell entices.

One of my particular obsessions lately is resistance. How can one write and make art to take a stand? And how can this happen without total despair? Besides following book tunnels of ideas, discussions with friends have opened up the best kind of Pandora’s boxes.

This performance by First Amendment Dance reminded me of what art can spotlight. What our work can do. and I hit on the idea of whimsy as a path to resistance, and it lit us both up. We hope you will join us live in March for a conversation on what artists can do now.

In the meantime, feed the creative part of yourself. Read books that nourish, watch stories of artists, and look at work made in turbulent times as inspiration. I’ll get to see a collection of Leonora Carrington’s paintings in Paris, and as a woman who painted through the 1930s, she has so much to teach creatives today.

Take good care of yourself; keep reading, keep learning, and keep creating.

Lots of love,
Caroline

More to discover:

Inspiration from February:

• If you haven’t yet watched it, Bad Bunny’s Superbowl Halftime performance is another joyous act of creative resistance.

• Short and sweet thoughts from on staying connected to your writing during a tough or distracting time.

• It’s Booker longlist season. Does anyone read the entire long or short list, or do you wait for them to announce the winner?

• went to India recently, and the photos she shared of the flowers there are almost as good as a holiday. In one there is an ENTIRE heap of flowers. I cannot fathom how many are in there.

• , founder of the beautiful LA stationery shop, Baum-Kuchen, shares stories of hand-binding notebooks and making hydrosols in a contraption that looks right out of a steampunk novel. I swooned, truly.

What’s on in March

March events for members:

• Jane Eyre continues, running until May.

• March 6: Member’s Live: The Be Your Own Governess Reading Journal (details here)

UPGRADE TO JOIN

Free for all:

• March 26: and I are going live to chat about creative resistance and whimsy. I can’t wait! This is a new time slot — later in the day for Europe and North America and extra super early morning for Australia (Details here)

Hope you can join in for a live soon!

Welcome to Jane Eyre, a slow read from The Tattooed Governess

This is our third reading debrief, which covers the text up to the end of Chapter Eleven.

**Please note: if you have not yet read up through the end of Chapter 11, this reading debrief contains spoilers.

Read more

We covered:

• Writing about craft on Substack

• How writing about crafting changes and deepens the experience

• How knitting, sewing, and other crafts feed our writing

• The increased desire to see human objects in the time of AI

• Some favorite patterns

• The neuroscience of crafting

• AND a very special pattern for an emotional support animal

Resources mentioned:

• Louise’s sweater by Tin Can

• Caroline’s sweater by Woolfolk

• Caroline’s tiny scarf by Petite Knit

• Emotional support knitting pattern

• Crochet version

• Caroline’s Tote by Modern Sewing Co. (tutorial also available to add)

• Betsan Corkhill’s website — book Knit for Health and Wellness is available there.

Everyone come join for my live with Louise on Friday, 20 February! Details here.

Books discussed:

• Fashionopolis, Dana Thomas

• Less, Patrick Grant

• Worn, Sofi Thanhauser

• Fabric, Victoria Fi…

Read more